I'll See You At The Crossroads
by aki.ari
Summary: He's lost much in his life but this time he couldn't stand it, and when given a chance to get that which was lost back, he took it without question. Yullen
1. I'll See You At The Crossroads

**I'll See You At The Crossroads**

Darkness crept across the dusk sky, stretching its inky black arms over the horizon and wrapping the world in its damnably deceptive shadows. Two figures, half illuminated by moonlight pressed up against the side of the decrepit old cathedral. Stealthily running alongside the wall they halted at the edge of a large intricate stained glass window. A gloved hand reached out rubbing carefully against the dirt encrusted glass and peering into the musty interior.

Decayed pews stood eternally in their neat rows leading up to the wooden alter. A cloth once white, now yellowed with age, draped across its surface, upon which sat several candles of varying height. The cross has become overrun by vines and the confessional caved in, splintered wood littering the floor.

"Oi Moyashi," Kanda whispered gesturing to where the rusted brass organs sat, pipes reaching towards the ceiling. The white keys began to dance, their sordid melody resonating through the abandoned church.

"Right," Allen nodded as he ran further along the wall to the fractured window adjacent to the enchanted instrument.

A beam of moonlight seeped through the thick clouds, shedding its light down upon the building in a picture of utter vulnerability – a place forgotten by God. The light refracted through the fragmented glass, spilling flighty shimmers upon the walls and chipped pillars.

The music rose in intensity, crying into the night its lonely lullaby. Slipping into the building through the damaged glass Allen frowned as he nicked himself on the jagged blue tinted glass. Making his way closer to the instrument Allen braced himself for the hiding akuma to show themselves.

The candles situated around the church all burst into flame, blue fire licking at the air and lapping up the oxygen. Three. Two. One. A gust of wind snuffed the small fires out as a level four flew through the ceiling, ramming into Allen. A devious smile spread across the akuma's repulsive human-like face. When the cloud of dust cleared there wasn't anyone in what should have been a crater of shattered glass and crumbling stone. Crown Clown invoked, Allen attacked the akuma from behind, catching it through the middle with his sword of exorcism.

A blur of grey from his right and Allen was bracing for the impact of the second level four akuma which he'd not anticipated.

"Baka, pay attention to your damn surroundings," Kanda snapped as he intercepted the attack, forcing it back with Mugen.

"Well sorry if I was a bit too preoccupied," Allen retorted as he wrenched the sword up through the screaming akuma, splitting it in two and releasing its morbid soul.

"Che," Kanda grunted as he slashed at the akuma in an unrelenting assault. Allen cast a weary glance towards the samurai before rushing over to the organ to collect the innocence. Black clawed hand reaching into the narrow space between the brass pipes Allen cut the pipe emitting the soft glow and removed the greenish sphere of innocence, the keys instantly silenced once its power was stripped away.

"Kanda, I got it," Allen called as he gave the innocence to Timcanpy for safe keeping. The navy haired male just scoffed as he finished the akuma he'd been fighting in several swift, clean cut movements.

"Good for you brat," Kanda scoffed, "what the heck do you want, a prize?"

"You don't have to be so mean about it, I was just saying," Allen retorted with a frown as he made his way to the older male's side.

"Che," Kanda huffed. "Baka Moyashi."

"Damn it BaKanda, is it so hard to say my name just once?" Allen sighed in exasperation. "It's really not that difficult."

"Shut up," Kanda snapped in irritation. These missions with Allen weren't exactly unpleasant, sure akuma were drawn to the cursed boy like moths to a flame and sure Allen tended to act on impulse rather than careful planning, but that could be easily overlooked if the boy would only keep his mouth shut. He was an exceptional fighter and his resolve had pushed him into becoming the youngest general in the history of the Order. Allen was frustrating as hell, but Kanda didn't mind his presence as much as he let on.

"You could try to be a little nicer sometimes you know," Allen said pouting as he began walking to the door only to stop in his tracks as loud cracks of splintering wood and cracking glass caught his attention.

"Quit standing there baka, the place is collapsing," Kanda hissed. Silver eyes widened when a calloused hand wrapped around his wrist and yanked him towards the door.

The glass finally gave to the pressure of the crumbling wooden structure, bursting into glimmering shards as the two ran out of the crumbling church just as it tumbled down into a heap of mismatched debris.

"Sorry," Allen said blinking as he stared at the now ruined structure.

"Che, you should be baka," Kanda said in annoyance fringing on exasperation, "pay more attention to your damn surroundings. How many times do I have to tell you before it sinks in?" Allen laughed nervously as Kanda let him go.

"Well I did hear it, I just didn't move," Allen said causing an almost murderous glare to settle into Kanda's features. Sometimes, though amazingly skilled in battle, Allen was seriously clumsy and foolish. Kanda would on these occasions wonder how the white haired child had managed to survive as long as he had.

Seemingly restraining himself from bursting with insults, Kanda turned on his heel, making to head back the way they had come. Only to stop as a door materialized in front of him, blocking his path. Allen was instantly at his side, a dark expression in his silver eyes as he invoked his innocence.

The ornately decorated checkered door, looked as though belonging to a child's doll house, which wasn't too off the mark considering who the only person capable of materializing these doors was. After a moment of stiff anticipation the doors opened and the Dreams of Noah launched out, tackling Allen to the ground in a hug that successfully pinned his arms to his sides, lips crushing against his.

Shocked silver pools widened in disgust as Allen bit the girl's lip to get her to pull off, a cold expression on his face.

"Allen!" Rhode said grinning as she licked away the blood from her lips, the copper taste sending dark ripples of pleasure through her as she pressed herself fully against the young general. "It's been so long, I missed you. I was so worried when they told me you'd stabbed yourself with your own sword. I'm so glad you're alright."

"Rhode get off me!" Allen hissed but made no move to extricate himself from her arms as he was painfully aware of her candles pressing against his back. He didn't need her to speak to know of the threat.

Kanda scowled in disgust at the display, feeling far more irritated that he should have for the fact that there was simply someone clinging to Allen in such a manner. The irritation was sorely misplaced he thought as he knew it should be directed towards Allen's rather passive stance in the matter – having not seen the dagger like candles materialize behind the boy.

"But Allen, I love you so much, why don't you come home with us," Rhode said nuzzling against the boy's neck, "that way I don't have to worry anymore and we can play all the time." Allen raised his clawed left hand behind the girl, if he became desperate all he had to do was shred her and pray that her candles wouldn't pierce anything vital.

"Us?" Allen paused as his clawed hand hovered behind the maliciously grinning Noah, the pointed tips dangerously close to ripping her to shreds – not that it'd do much good as she had proven to be rather indestructible, what with being the oldest Noah and all.

"Tyki's here too, but he isn't as much fun anymore," Rhode pouted as said male made himself known, emerging from the ground in front of Kanda and attacking him with his Tease. "You killed that part of him."

"I'll save you," Allen grunted as Rhode shifted atop him, restricting his movement so he couldn't change his arm into the sword of exorcism.

"Save me Allen? You can't even save yourself," Rhode said as if actually curious and not just baiting the boy with the sadistic mind games she was so fond of, "how were you planning on killing me anyway? We already had this discussion, you can't kill a dream."

"Get off," Allen said pressing a claw against the back of her neck threateningly.

"Play with me Allen," Rhode grinned as Allen's eyes glassed over – hollow imperfect crystal pools.

"Moyashi, quit screwing around!" Kanda called as his blade clashed with the dark matter. Cobalt eyes widened momentarily as Allen's body slumped forward; as if a rag doll he was completely unresponsive to everything.

xXx

"Welcome to my dream world Allen," Rhode's voice echoed through the hollow halls of the maze like ruins Allen stood at the centre of, "I made this one especially for you."

"What are you playing at Rhode?" Allen called as he looked around in vain attempts to locate the source of her voice. "What is all this?"

"A game," Rhode replied laughing as candles materialized around Allen, "this way we can play without any worry of damaging your beautiful body."

"Wha-" Allen's voice caught in his throat as a tall figure approached him through the shadows, an eerily familiar smile upon his face.

"What's wrong Allen?" the voice spoke causing the pale boy's heart to contract painfully.

"Mana?" the name fell from Allen's lips before he could stop himself – he knew it was just an illusion. Mana was dead, and Rhode could make him see anything in her dream worlds.

'No,' Allen shook his head running away from the illusion. Footfalls echoing down the halls Allen stumbled in his haste, hearing scornful laughter resounding around him. It was like he was a kid all over again with all those condescending glances and disgusted sneers.

Allen stopped running upon seeing Miena smiling sweetly at him just a few feet away. Braid swaying as she walked towards him flowers cradled in her hands.

'God no,' Allen thought shuddering as he took a step back only to crash into someone. Turning, habitual apology ready on his lips, silver eyes widened as they met azure ones, breath catching in his throat.

"What's wrong Allen?" Narein asked walking closer to the startled boy. "You look like you've seen a ghost."

"Stop!" Allen yelled stumbling back, tumbling down a set of stairs he was sure hadn't been there before. Darkness warping with faces, so many faces he'd seen in their last moments of life, faces of people he couldn't save. The voices calling him from everywhere, screaming and pleading with him to save them, asking why he'd let them die.

"I'm sorry!" Allen cried into the darkness, refusing to stand from where he'd fallen, catching sight of purple spiral candles, hovering above him.

"Stand up Allen," Rhode said, sadistic laughter seeped into his thoughts, "you have to fight or they'll all die."

"They're not real!" Allen yelled. "None of this is _real_!"

"But it is for them," Rhode said, "are you going to let them die _again_ Allen?"

"You're lying!" Allen retorted half ready to break down in tears at hearing the tortured screams all around him.

"I don't want to die," a pleading voice reached Allen's ears as he turned his gaze to see Suman, on his knees in front of Tyki, "please, I don't want to die." Suman's gaze turned to Allen, sorrowfully.

"I don't want to die," Suman repeated a hand reaching out to Allen, "my daughter, I have to see her again."

"I'm sorry," Allen whispered standing on shaky legs, beginning to run again – desperately trying to escape the ghosts of his past.

"Stop running Allen," Rhode said appearing before the pale boy, "it's no fun if you run."

"I'm not going to play your game!" Allen hissed glaring at the girl before her.

"If you think you have a choice you're sorely mistaken," Rhode said darkly as her candles pierced through Allen form behind. Knees buckling as he tipped forward, collapsing as he coughed up blood on his hands and knees.

"Allen you're hurt," silver eyes looked up to see Narein smiling down at him, a tanned hand outstretched to him, "here let me see."

"Narein," Allen said trembling as he felt a warm hand cup his face. The sandy haired boy leaned forward breath ghosting over Allen's ear.

"You killed me," Narein whispered a dark smirk spreading across his face as he hardened his grip on Allen's face.

"Kill him Allen," Rhode said, "he's already dead after all isn't he? You said so yourself."

"Na…nghahh!" Allen grunted in pain, silver eyes wide as blood spattered against Narein's face, azure eyes strained with blood lust.

'Why am I being forced to do this?' Allen thought, anguished as he gathered his resolve, knocking Narein off him.

xXx

"Snap out of it baka!" Kanda yelled as he ducked out of the way of Tyki's assault. He was seriously beginning to worry about the younger boy. Allen had been in this soulless state for what Kanda deemed to be too long, especially what with the fact that the boy was completely vulnerable to any attacks.

"Damn it, just die will you," Kanda growled as he repeatedly attacked the Noah with precise movements in swift succession. The samurai was growing rather annoyed that the Noah was matching each one of his attacks. 'At the rate this is going, I won't be able to get to him in time,' Kanda thought growing angrier by the second.

"If you don't wake up right now, I'll kill you myself!" Kanda called as he tried to get around the Noah of Pleasure to be at Allen's side. He had a bad feeling that Allen wouldn't be safe for much longer and he wasn't going to let the young general die on a mission with him – even if Allen should be able to protect himself.

xXx

"You know, I heard somewhere that if you kill yourself in a dream then you're supposed to wake up," Allen said spitting out blood before dragging the back of his hand across his mouth. "Do you think it'll work?"

"If you're wrong then you'll become just as lifeless as a real doll," Rhode said, "and then you'll belong to me."

"Then let's hope I'm not wrong," Allen laughed as if not caring of the situation and plunging his sword of exorcism through himself – it didn't burn like it had when he had been fighting the akuma that time – the grin on Allen's face broadened as blood trailed from the corners of his mouth. His body falling to land amongst the broken forms of all the people he'd not been able to save.

'What kind of person takes a chance like that?' Rhode wondered, a sadistic smile twisting her childlike features as she kicked the dream Allen over to look at the distressingly joyful look on his blood streaked face.

xXx

Blinking as silver eyes cleared, Allen fought through the hazy cloud of gray in his vision to get his bearings of his surroundings. Turning his head slowly Allen took in the blurry mess of splintered wood and shattered glass – all that was left of the lonely cathedral. Turning to the sound of clashing metal, Allen squinted to make out the blurred figures fighting on the other side of the clearing. Hands shooting to his head and eyes clenching shut, Allen hoped that the sudden dizziness would subside, too out of it to notice the level four appearing from behind him with an army of lower leveled akuma.

"Oi Baka, behind you!" Kanda yelled taking his attention away from the Noah that he was fighting with, desperation rife in his voice as he turned to make his way towards Allen, who was still reeling from the vivid torture he'd received in the dream.

Looking towards Kanda, Allen's silver eyes widened in fear and suddenly became very aware of his surroundings. Ignoring the akuma at his back Allen rushed forward in palpably extreme anxiety. Then everything went silent, save for a mind numbing buzzing in Allen's ears – he couldn't hear the laughing akuma or the beating of his rapidly pounding heart or even Kanda's voice yelling at him – as a devious grin spread from ear to ear on Tyki's face, those golden eyes staring directly into his as if saying this is for you. A hand shot through the samurai's chest, cobalt eyes widening.

Then all too suddenly the sound came rushing back as Allen heard an ear splitting cry. Through the tendrils of earthen mist silver eyes caught sight of his navy haired companion as the male fell.

"Kanda!" Allen hadn't even registered that the scream had been his own – so filled with dread and anguish as he attacked the Noah of Pleasure, sending him sprawling backwards into the shadows. Allen slid to his knees in front of Kanda, catching his body, Mugen clattering to the ground beside them.

"Kanda hold on," Allen said hands trembling at the quantity of blood drenching the male's clothing and the crimson liquid bubbling up and trailing from the corners of the male's mouth.

"Kanda look at me, you're going to be ok," Allen said pressing his hands to the wound in desperate and futile attempts to stop the bleeding and keep the male with him.

"Kanda please!" Allen cried as salty grief trailed down pale dust and blood covered cheeks. Trembling with grief and anger Allen kept hoping that Kanda would push him away and berate him saying that he was fine and that only an idiot would worry about something as insignificant as this. Even as Kanda's body went completely limp, Mugen lying at his side forgotten and the fierce look in his eyes dulled. Even as Kanda's ruptured heart stopped Allen kept begging Kanda to stay with him.

The last petal falls.

"Kanda!" Allen sobbed as he clutched the body to his chest.

"Too bad really," Tyki's mocking voice reached Allen's ears as he turned his gaze on the Noah, a violent and animalistic need for destruction glowing right down to his core. Gently lowering Kanda's body to the ground Allen stroked a hand through the navy locks he'd longed to feel when the male had been alive. He could almost hear Kanda threatening him as he pressed Mugen up against his throat – not enough to break the skin, never enough for any real damage.

Silently standing, Allen's eyes glassed over in a mindless kind of feral vengeance. Allen charged with no regard for anything, cutting through the level four like it was a leaf in his way, Clown belt reaching out and eradicating the small army of akuma in seconds. Adrenaline pumping and a fire burning in his soul Allen fought the Noah with every bit of ferocity that he'd held back with on the ark and more.

'I wanted to save his human side,' Allen thought as he took in the grey skin and golden eyes before him.

Allen attacked, sword clashing against the tease that were acting as such weapons.

'It's my fault that he is still alive,' Allen thought, 'Chaoji was right.'

Being pushed back Tyki felt worry encroaching on his senses at the violence of the unrelenting boy. Allen was taking the cuts and bruises without flinching as he continued his assault.

'Kanda's dead because of me,' Allen thought biting his bottom lip to restrain the new wave of tears threatening to break past his defenses.

'Allen's gone berserk,' Rhode mused as she glanced over to the broken body of the samurai with a frown, 'what the hell were you to him?' With a jealous pout on her lips and a feeling that with the way Allen was going at the moment, he could probably kill Tyki, the murderous intent rising off him and crackling like electricity.

"Tyki, time to go!" Rhode called as her door materialized. In a moment the Noah of Pleasure phased through the ground to distance himself from the rampaging exorcist and appeared beside Rhode. "Bye Allen."

With the farewell in the air Allen's anger only grew, charging at the door even as it disappeared. Panting heavily, body exhausted Allen let out a scream of frustration as his innocence deactivated and he fell to his knees.

Still the tears wouldn't cease.

'It's my fault,' Allen thought trembling.

xXx

The sounds of screeching steel and moaning wood was all that Allen could hear as he stared out the window of the lavish train compartment. It had never really occurred to Allen before, how big and very lonely and cold the cabin was. He dearly missed Kanda's presence and would give anything to have the male back scolding him or insulting him – it didn't matter once he was there.

Allen had carried Kanda back into town, albeit with some difficulty. At the inn he met up with the finder who'd been stationed in the area. Explaining that Kanda was dead had been painful for Allen, luckily for him the finder seemed to get the idea and didn't press the matter as he'd taken Kanda's body to make the necessary preparations to bring him back to HQ.

As the world passed by in a blur outside the train's window Allen felt his heart lurch with agony as he reminisced on Kanda's last moments.

'He'd been distracted trying to protect me,' Allen thought, guilt weighing heavily upon him. Silver eyes stared out the window in a daze as he heard Kanda's voice at his last replaying in his mind.

_Oi Baka, behind you!_

'Only Kanda could look so very irritated with me,' Allen thought as he wiped at the silent tears that just refused to stop.

Looking back fondly over the years spent fighting by Kanda's side, Allen's hands balled into fists as he punched down on the seats in his frustration. A weak smile stretched across Allen's face as he recalled the first time he'd met Kanda. He'd jumped down gracefully, navy hair blowing in the wind, a large glowing moon suspended in the sky behind him and sword arched and ready to kill.

'He was the first to ever damage my innocence,' Allen mused thinking about the deep scratch that had torn through his arm. Kanda had been so cold to Allen, brushing him off when they got inside and then the encounter at the cafeteria with the finder had only added to the tension building between them, needless to say Allen hadn't developed quite a high view of the older male. Though, somehow with his luck, Allen managed to get stuck with Kanda on his first mission and he realized the male wasn't so bad after all – not nearly as cold as he'd come off.

'Even back then he'd protected me at his own expense,' Allen thought as he recalled his first mission. He'd been sent to Matel with Kanda.

_Before we arrive, let's get something straight. I'm not nearly the idealist you are. Emotions have no place on the battlefield. If you get yourself hurt, hinder the mission and put the rest of us in danger I'll leave you for dead. In other words, we're not partners, so don't expect me to help._

'Even so…' Allen thought with a sad smile.

_Your naïve outlook is ridiculous! You'd compromise yourself for others just because you feel sorry for them? Where's your pride? Don't you cherish anything? _

'Even though he said that he still...'

_You're going to quit now that you're a little tired? If you give up you'll never be a true exorcist. You said you wanted to protect them right? I hate optimistic guys like you, but I hate those who don't keep their word even more!_

'Despite his injuries he still protected me.'

Sword drawn and scowl in place, Kanda had fought at Allen's side. It was because of Kanda that Allen was able to scrounge up enough energy to invoke again, the pale boy was sure of that. After that their relationship didn't get any better, resorting to childish bickering whenever they were in each other's presence – always challenging, and in Kanda's case, mocking.

"_I know what its weakness is since I bought down a similar robot in the past," Kanda said nonchalantly._

"_So where's its weak point? Just tell me!" Allen said, the urgency in his voice not going unnoticed by Kanda. The older male did little more than stare as he'd told Allen where to hit the thing, even so Allen hadn't any idea what the hell he was talking about begging for clarification._

"_What a shame, guess it's your fate to die huh?" Kanda said dully as he walked off leaving a very panicky Allen behind to face Komurin._

At the time the situation had seemed far from funny to Allen, but now he looked back on it with mild amusement and longing. Every one of their arguments had been silly and trivial and though it seemed as though they'd never see eye to eye, Allen had grown rather attached to Kanda and all his quirks. Memories of simple things, like watching the male eat soba or meditating, Allen treasured them all, now more than ever.

Sobbing silently, Allen leaned his head against the cool glass of the train window, silver eyes watching the scenery bleeding into streaks of muddled color.

'He claimed that he didn't give a damn about what happens to the Order or anyone in it and yet he fought with a resolve unmatched by anyone else,' Allen thought remembering the incident on the ark, how Kanda was the first to stay behind to fight and how he'd chased everyone off by unleashing Mugen's hell insects on them. A light laugh fell from dust pink lips.

More memories flooded Allen's mind as he felt a painful twist in his heart.

'BaKanda, you shouldn't have worried about me,' Allen thought as the sound of a whistle pierced the air, 'you shouldn't have died for me.' Silver eyes drifted to the platform outside the window, it was time to face the questions. The Order's best exorcist was dead and it was his fault.

xXx

Usually returning to what Allen and many others deemed as home would have painted a bright smile on the cursed boy's face. Even burdened with injury or having lost sight of his resolve Allen would have assured everyone that things were alright. But not this time. Allen was far from capable to put on a front, completely grief stricken and filled with self-loathing.

"Oh God, Allen we have to get you to the infirmary!" Lenalee exclaimed being the first one to greet Allen. Wearily Allen had trudged up the stairs and through the hall, soulless eyes downcast and expression blank. It pained him to think that by not being able to smile, he'd be hurting her – causing her to worry.

"No, I'm sorry," it was all Allen offered before stalking off and leaving the concerned girl alone. Wide amethyst eyes stared after the retreating boy unable to comprehend the coldness in Allen's tone or the lifelessness in his eyes.

"Tim, go report to Komui for me please," Allen said to the small golem before locking himself away in his room. He didn't want anyone to treat his wounds. He didn't want to see their concerned faces.

xXx

For days Allen remained in his room, not leaving for anything or anyone. The Order was in a state of disarray with the melancholy cloud hovering over their white knight and the lack of Kanda's violent tendencies. The samurai's body had become just another part of the growing body count at the Order and Allen couldn't bear to see him boxed up and lowered into the earth. Kanda was much too strong and much too proud to be cooped up in a box.

Lenalee and Lavi tried to coax Allen into speaking with them, begging the boy to let them in to help, but he'd only ever reply with, _I'm sorry_.

"Allen," Lenalee called from the door, "my brother says there's a mission that he'd like you to go on if you're up to it." It had been just over a week since Allen had returned and it was the first mention of a new mission. He wanted to get away, if only to avoid the piteous atmosphere he'd draped across the Order.

xXx

"There have been rumors circulating in Billingham about people coming back to life," Komui said, instantly gaining Allen's attention. "It's an old civil parish in the Borough of Stockton on Tees in North East England and since it's a rather isolated place-"

"I'll go," Allen said cutting the scientist off.

"Are you sure?" Komui asked, "I thought it would be good for you to get out of here and occupy yourself but it's important you know that there's nothing you can do to bring Kanda back, once a person is gone, they're gone."

"I know," Allen said smiling reassuringly, "I don't care where it is, I just need to get away from here for a while."

"Alright, Lavi's going to be your partner," Komui said, "your mission is to investigate the claims and retrieve the innocence that's causing it."

'Just maybe it's not over yet,' Allen thought feeling a weight lifted from upon his heart – it was the first time since Kanda's death that he'd felt hope. It was unlikely, but if the incidents weren't caused by innocence or the Earl, then he may have a chance at getting Kanda back. At this point he'd do _anything_, give _anything_ to see him alive and well.

xXx

"Man for a while there you had me worried," Lavi grinned as he flopped into the seat beside Allen.

"Sorry about that," Allen said softly, "I'm fine now."

"You sure about that? I mean you didn't leave your room in over a week, how did you manage without food for that long?" Lavi asked talking animatedly, hoping to get Allen's mind of Kanda's death, as the young boy seemed to be taking it particularly hard.

Lavi had seen the footage from Timcanpy and his heart ached for Allen. Lavi knew him well enough to know that Allen was blaming himself for Kanda's death and as long as that continued chances were that Allen would continue sulking until there was nothing left of him.

"It's my fault he's dead Lavi," Allen said hands balled into fists at his sides, "if I had killed Tyki, if I had been a little more attentive, if I'd have gotten there sooner, if I knew…"

"Allen, I know it's hard but you have to get over it, this isn't like you," Lavi said resting a hand on Allen's shoulder, "Kanda was our friend although he'd never admit that, he wouldn't blame you for anything. He'd probably hit you for acting like this." Allen pulled away from Lavi, casting his gaze to the floor in silence.

"People you know have been killed but I've never seen you lock yourself away like you have," Lavi continued, not wanting to let up before he knew what was going on with the younger boy. "What was it specifically about Kanda's death that you can't get over?"

"It should have been me," Allen whispered sullenly after a moment of sitting under Lavi's scrutinizing gaze.

"What?" Lavi asked eye widening in shock, "Allen-"

"I should have been able to save him," Allen said a bit more forcefully, knuckles white with the force of his grip.

"Allen, you can't save everyone," Lavi said with a frown.

"But shouldn't I at least be able to save the people I care about?" Allen asked silver meeting emerald.

"Allen, what…you were in love with him weren't you?" Lavi said, as realization dawned on him.

"Don't be silly," Allen said a weak smile splitting his features as a mirthless laugh escaped his lips. The tears Allen had been desperately trying to hold back began to fall.

"I'm sorry, I didn't know," Lavi said gaze softening with pity.

"It's not like that really," Allen insisted wiping ferociously at his dampened cheeks.

"Did he know?" Lavi asked, taking in the heavy silence as Allen seemed to be struggling within himself. Snowy white locks shifted as Allen shook his head in the negative, a new wave of sorrow overcoming him. "Come here," Lavi pulled Allen into a loose embrace, the sobbing boy fisting his trembling hands in the folds of Lavi's clothes.

"Allen, you took this mission because of the rumors right?" Lavi asked after the boy had calmed down. He was met with only silence but it was more than enough of an answer. "Don't do anything foolish, there isn't any way to bring back the dead."

"I know," Allen said after a few more moments of silence, a smile stretching across his face, "but if there is…" Lavi's emerald eyes widened as he heard the whispered words, ready to talk some sense into Allen. With a swift hit to the back of the redhead's neck, Allen rendered the older male unconscious.

"I'm sorry Lavi, but I need to go this one alone," Allen said as he laid the male down onto the seat. Standing as the train pulled into the station Allen took one final glance at the unconscious apprentice bookman before setting out to conduct the investigation.

xXx

"A woman on this street?" Allen asked as the old man nodded gesturing down the road. "Thank you for your time." Allen headed in the bidden direction to speak with another person who'd miraculously had a loved one resurrected. It wasn't difficult to find information; the people were running their mouths of as if their town was somehow blessed. Allen had already spoken with four people who were beaming about their husband or mother or lover that had come back to life. He'd even seen these reanimated corpses and from all accounts they were human. But there was one thing bothering him, which was why he persisted. How had these people come back to life?

There were no akuma in the town, no sign that there ever were any, meaning that the likelihood of these events being a result of innocence activity was slim to none. When he'd asked about how these _miracles happened_ no one would say. The story with all of them was that they were grief stricken and praying while wandering back from the cemetery and then when they got home, the person would be there, as if they'd never left.

"Hello, I'm sorry to bother you miss, but I'd like to ask you a couple questions," Allen said to the woman sitting on the porch, a small bundle cradled in her arms.

"It's a miracle, my baby came back to me," a woman smiled as she cradled the infant in her arms. She hadn't seen Allen before and assumed he was a traveler drawn here because of the rumors about the strange phenomenon occurring in the town.

"Yes, that is the reason I'm here," Allen said smiling as he looked at the tiny child reaching a hand out and grasping air. "When did you find out about your child's revival?"

"Three nights ago," the woman said, "he had died of illness and I would visit the grave every night and sing him a lullaby. Then on the way back I asked the gods to give him back to me, my life would be meaningless without this child. And there he was, rolling about in the crib as if he'd always been there."

"You _asked_ God?" Allen asked curiously, this was the first of the lot that hadn't simply said they were praying.

"The gods are many and though not benevolent they can grant wishes if it pleases them to do so," the woman said.

"Can you tell me what god it was that granted your wish?" Allen asked.

"That which lives at the crossroads," the woman said causing Allen's eyes to widen. He'd not expected to learn of a physical entity.

"Where is this crossroads?" Allen asked the desperation in his eyes overpowering the calm façade he wore.

"You too have lost someone dear to you?" the woman asked kindly as she reached out to caress Allen's cheek, a simple gesture of comfort. Allen said nothing turning his head away, the warmth in her touch felt so safe and he briefly wondered whether that was how a mothers hand was supposed to feel. "On the way back from the cemetery there are two intersecting roads: one that leads from the town to the cemetery and the other that leads from the church to the forest. That is the crossroads; that is where you'll encounter a god if it is your true desire."

"Thank you," Allen said as he cast one last look down at the child in the woman's arms, a sweet smile adorning his cherubic face.

xXx

A couple hours later the sky began to darken, the stars beginning to appear on the indigo backdrop, the moon hiding behind the cloudy wisps. This blossoming night found Allen walking down a crude dirt road just past the last line of houses and shops that made up the town. His heart was pounding in his chest and his mouth and throat felt parched. What was he doing? There was no innocence in this town he was sure of that. What then was this being granting life? If he'd been calm enough to think things through he'd have wondered what exactly this being was, or if he should be seeking it out like this. But all that ran through his mind was how quickly he could find it and get Kanda back.

By the time he arrived at the junction Allen's heart was racing, Kanda's name repeating over and over in his head like a mantra. Before he could even wonder how long he'd have to wait before the _god_ showed itself a heated figure slid up his back, thin arms wrapping around his neck, a slick tongue licking the shell of his ear seductively. Instinctively Allen tensed up but forced himself not to react.

"How cute, your desperation is almost tangible," a low sultry voice breathed against his ear, the sinfully attractive warmth suffusing across his neck as he slowly turned to meet twin pools of pure tar.

"Are you the god that brings people back to life?" Allen asked as the female figure pulled away from him. Silver eyes raked over the woman, she looked normal enough, could have passed for human if not for those piercing ebony eyes.

"Yes," she said, "and you are the boy whose pain I could feel resonating in the earth long before you ever stepped foot in this town." Allen stiffened but forced himself to remain composed in the presence of this unknown god.

"Tell me, Allen Walker, what is it that you wish of me?" she asked smiling lustily at him.

"I'm told you can bring people back to life," Allen said, "Yuu Kanda, he died a couple weeks ago."

"You want to bring him back to life then?" she asked, "I can do that for you, but at a price." There was always a price, he'd known it even without anyone having to tell him that. If it was in his power, he was more than ready to pay it.

"Anything I'm able to give, take it. Please just bring him back," Allen said firm in his resolve, "I need him."

"I will bring him back for you, all lively and healthy in exchange for your soul," she said.

"What?" Allen's question was more of a reflex than actual surprise; he figured there would be a high price to bring back someone from death.

"I'll give you a year and then your soul is mine," she said expecting the boy to protest and try to offer other things like all her past _clients_.

"Fine," Allen said expression blank; a year was more than enough time. It was probably more time than he had left at present, what with the strain of war and innocence on his young body, not to mention the Fourteenth Noah constantly hovering over his shoulder.

"That was quick, are you sure you don't want to think about it some more, or beg for more time?" she asked as a smile drew up the corners of her mouth.

"I said _anything_ and I meant it," Allen said.

"I like you," she said sweetly as she snaked an arm around Allen's neck, face only an inch away from his, "I don't get a lot of people with your kind of resolve, now to seal the deal."

"How?" Allen asked, eyes widening as she closed the distance between them, lips pressing against his. In that moment he could feel something inside him twist with dread but it was soon quelled as an image of Kanda blinking his eyes open in the infirmary flashed through his mind.

"I even did you a favor and removed him from his grave," she said as she pulled back, a satisfied smirk playing on her lips. "Pleasure doing business with you _Allen_, I'll see you in a year." The acidic honey voice reached Allen's ears as she vanished.

Blinking, Allen stared at the place the _god _had been a moment ago. Silver eyes sought a confirmation that what he'd just experienced hadn't been some wild figment of his imagination. The breeze was cold in the night air and Allen shuddered as he began walking back to the town. The mission was over, there was no innocence to speak of and the Earl wasn't involved. As far as the Black Order was concerned everything was perfectly normal in the small parish town and Allen would leave on the first train back to headquarters.

xXx

Allen had barely made it down the hall when he'd gotten back, before Lavi accosted him.

"What the heck did you do Allen?" Lavi asked urgently grabbing the boy by his shoulders. When he'd woken up on the train several stops away he contacted Komui and was told to return to headquarters. He'd been furious with the young exorcist the whole time, wondering just how far Allen was willing to take this desperate obsession. Surely he'd get hurt trying to do the impossible.

"It wasn't innocence, it was something else entirely and the people brought back to life are all real," Allen said seriously, he just wanted to get to the infirmary before anything could be said. "It's genuine with no akuma strings attached."

"Allen?" Lavi asked skeptically ready to interrogate the boy further only to freeze as he heard a scream resonate through the halls. At the sound Allen dashed past Lavi towards the infirmary, thanking his luck for having been sent on a mission so close to home that he'd had chance to make it back before someone noticed Kanda in his very non-corpse-like self.

Upon entering the room with the rows of beds Allen felt relief wash over him at seeing the navy haired male looking really damn annoyed and yelling at those gawking around him, demanding to know what was everyone's problem.

"Allen you didn't," Lavi muttered as he followed the boy into the room, emerald eye settling on the agitated and very _alive_ samurai.

"Oi Moyashi, when'd we get back and why the heck is everyone staring at me like they've seen a ghost?" Kanda asked once his hard cobalt gaze landed on Allen.

"Well you were out for over a week and everyone thought you were going to die," Allen said laughing lightly, "as if that would ever happen."

"Fuck that, the damn nurse almost had heart attack when she saw me here," Kanda snapped.

"Kanda, don't be silly, you're just agitated 'cause you got knocked down by that Noah," Allen teased.

"I'm so going to kill you," Kanda growled, "baka, making fun of me when you're the one who wouldn't pay attention to his damn surroundings."

"Yeah, yeah, I know," Allen grinned before waving, "glad you're awake, Kanda." With that said Allen turned and stalked past Lavi into the hall. Allen's expression faltered as he leaned against the wall, heart pounding and tears streaming down his face. 'He's really back,' the thought brought unquantifiable amounts of joy to the small boy as he fought to remain standing.

No one was even remotely aware of how to deal with the situation so they just went along with what Allen had said, smiling and telling Kanda they're glad he's alright before running out because of his trademark scowl which was accentuated by the murderous glare he was harboring.

"Allen we need to talk," Komui said resting a hand on the boy's shoulder, having been one of the many who were in the room with Kanda.

"I know," Allen said as the blueberry haired scientist led him to his office, both Bookman and Lavi entering the room just after them with serious expressions adorning their faces.

"Allen, how is this possible?" Komui asked after taking a seat behind his desk.

"The people in the town revere this entity as a god. I don't know how true that is but whatever she was had nothing to do with innocence or the Earl," Allen said, voice calm and unwavering. "She brought Kanda back upon my request."

"Just like that?" Lavi asked beating Komui to the question only to get hit over the head from Bookman. Allen was silent as his silver gaze fell to the floor.

"Allen, what was the price for this?" Komui asked.

"It doesn't matter, he's back so it was worth it," Allen said stiffly.

"Allen, what did you do?" Lavi asked, the emotion starting to leak from his voice, earning another hit over the head from Bookman who was seriously beginning to get tired of his foolish apprentice's antics.

"It's none of your business!" Allen snapped, "just be happy he's back damn it, why can't you just…"

"Allen, are you sure it's Kanda?" Komui asked cautiously, not wanting to set the clearly still volatile boy off.

"Yes, of course I'm sure it's him. I wouldn't have made the deal if I'd had any doubts," Allen said.

"With all fairness you weren't in the right frame of mind since he died," Komui said.

"It's him ok, it's Kanda!" Allen retorted. He was breeching on desperation now, why did they continue to doubt him, if nothing else, the male's attitude in the infirmary should have been enough to convince them of his authenticity.

"Alright Allen, just tell us about the mission," Komui said sighing, "I really don't know how we're going to explain this to the higher ups."

"Don't tell them," Allen said quickly, "If and when they find out I'll take full responsibility." Three pairs of eyes scrutinized the snowy haired boy, only one of which knew to what the reason for this resolve was.

"There was no innocence correct?" Komui asked after a few minutes of silent thought. Allen nodded mutely as he wondered what the scientist was getting at. "Then the mission was completed. Allen Walker you are free to go on the condition that you eat a proper meal and get checked out in the infirmary for those wounds you neglected to allow us to treat after your last mission."

When finished speaking, Komui smiled kindly at Allen pointing to the door in mock seriousness. He found no need to get the boy worked up when he was finally out of his room and talking again. He'd find out about the price for this feat at some point in time, but for now he decided to play the role of the older brother and not the superior officer.

A smile lifted the corners of Allen's lips as he nodded heading off to the cafeteria to meet the conditional _punishment_ for his release.

xXx

"So you going to tell him? Now that he's back I mean?" Lavi asked as Allen ate seriously for the first time since Kanda had died.

"No," Allen said as he continued to devour his meal, the plates stacking up well over his head on the table.

"Why not?" Lavi asked with a frown. Most people never got a second chance to say the things that they only admitted to after their death, no apologies, no confessions…Allen had a chance to confess the feelings he's been harboring and he wasn't going to? It made no sense.

"I'm just glad he's back, I don't want to change anything," Allen said pausing in his meal to look up at Lavi, "plus the feelings would never be reciprocated so what's the point."

"Allen, what exactly did you do to get him back?" Lavi asked, temporarily setting aside the cynical response for a matter that had been bothering him since the conversation with Komui.

"Nothing," Allen said as he quickly resumed eating.

"What did you trade?" Lavi asked, it must've been something Allen knew he wouldn't approve of with the way he avoided the topic.

"Lavi, I'm not going to tell you," Allen said.

"Yes you are," Lavi said with a sigh as he grabbed Allen's wrist and dragged him away to the waiting interrogation. Once in what he recognized to be his own room, Allen frowned when he found Lenalee to already be there, features hard with anger.

"Allen," Lenalee said as she hugged him tightly before stepping back and slapping him. Silver eyes widened in shock as a hand came up to nurse the stinging flesh. "My brother said you weren't telling him everything, what are you hiding?"

"Nothing," Allen said mentally cursing Komui for using Lenalee to get information out of him.

"Don't lie to me Allen; share your burden with us once in a while," Lenalee said, amethyst eyes pleading with him, "you have friends so you won't have to walk alone."

"You'd only worry for no reason," Allen sighed.

"Just tell us already," Lavi urged from his place against the wall. Heaving a heavy sigh of resignation Allen nodded his defeat.

"My life."

"Come again," Lavi said not believing his ears. The words that had left the boy's mouth caught both teens by surprise.

"My life for his," Allen reiterated, casting his gaze to the floor and away from the mixed expressions on his friend's faces.

"How much of your life Allen?"' Lenalee asked voice breeching on panic.

"I have one year," Allen said earning another stinging slap from the furious female. Amethyst eyes burned into Allen, clearly screaming her disapproval, before storming out of the room with tears burning in her eyes.

"Allen-" Lavi started, emerald gaze drawing back from the open door to the snowy haired exorcist.

"Stop saying my name so piteously, I don't care once he's back," Allen said.

"I don't think Yuu would be happy with this if he found out," Lavi said.

"That's why he's not going to find out," Allen said firmly, the underlying threat not lost on the apprentice bookman.

"If you need to talk you know where to find me," Lavi ruffled Allen's hair affectionately before walking out of the room to find Lenalee. The situation was just too much. It shouldn't even be possible so why?

xXx

"Damn it brat what did you do?" Kanda growled as he threw open the door of Allen's room to confront him. He needed answers, especially after having been given weird looks all day. Not to mention the fact that his lotus had no petals on it, the soft glow gone.

"Nothing," Allen said once he'd managed to get over the shock of the man barging into his room with a near murderous aura surrounding him.

"Quit lying to me. I didn't just _happen_ to wake up after being mortally wounded!" Kanda hissed.

"You healed up while you were unconscious," Allen said simply.

"I wasn't just simply unconscious you idiot! I remember that bastard's hand punching straight through me, he must've severed my spinal cord and ruptured my heart!" Kanda growled. "It wasn't even a good few seconds of pain before everything went black!"

"You're tired you should rest," Allen said straining to retain his composure as he recalled the event in detail.

"Allen!"

"I'm sorry!" Allen cried as he pushed Kanda back and ran out of the room leaving a very confused samurai behind. Growling in annoyance and confusion Kanda went to seek answers elsewhere, Komui would be a good start seeing as he was the supervising officer.

xXx

"He made a deal?" Kanda asked in shock at what the redhead had just told him. After finding Komui to conveniently be absent from his office he set off to find the next available idiot to threaten for answers.

"Yeah, while you were out some really weird shit was happening. We thought it was because of innocence but as it turns out there's some really fucked up shit going on that has nothing to do with the Earl," Lavi said, mentally apologizing to Allen for his disloyalty, but after weighing his options, he'd much rather ask forgiveness later than to end up without his much treasured eyesight at present.

"What kind of deal?" Kanda asked.

"A trade, his life for yours," Lavi said, "now will you put that sword down please."

"That damn fool!" Kanda growled as he sheathed Mugen and went off in search of the younger male.

A quick trip past the boy's room assured Kanda that Allen had not returned from wherever he'd run off to. After an hour of fruitless searching, Kanda resorted to demanding answers about the boy's whereabouts from everyone unfortunate enough to cross his path. Most people had been no help at all, until a frightened finder muttered something about seeing him heading up to the roof.

Sure enough when Kanda pushed open the roof access door he found the pale boy looking out at the dark grey sky.

"How long?" Kanda asked as he stalked over to the now startled boy.

"What do you mean?" Allen asked nervously as he thought of ways to escape. After many short and unpleasant scenarios he determined the roof probably wasn't the best hiding place, when there was only one way in or out.

"How long do you have?" Kanda asked as he stopped a foot away from the silent boy. "Damn it Allen, tell me!" His use of the boy's real name hadn't been intentional, but it did add to the urgency in his voice.

"One year," Allen said gazing drifting to the ground.

"You fucking idiot!" Kanda's cobalt eyes widened at the information, "you've done a lot of stupid things before, but this-"

"I'm dying anyway, I may not even last the year in this war," Allen said trying to play it off as if it were nothing.

"Your life for mine, what kind of shit is that? I didn't want this!" Kanda snapped sidestepping to block Allen from trying to run off on him again.

"It was worth it, my life is barely mine anymore anyway," Allen said as he was slowly backed up to the parapet surrounding the roof's perimeters.

"So what'd that thing tell you? That all you had to do was give up the rest of years of your life and that's it?" Kanda asked as Allen avoided meeting the intense stormy gaze that would put the oceans depths to shame. "Somehow I don't think that's quite everything."

"It's nothing," Allen said almost laughing as he became acutely aware of how shiny Mugen's blade was as the tip pointed at his throat threateningly. "Are you going to make me go early for my appointment with death?"

"Don't be so damn nonchalant about it!" Kanda hissed lowering Mugen. "Just tell me what it was that you traded since I know damn well that your life wasn't all."

"My soul," Allen mumbled, finding his boots suddenly very interesting.

"You sold your fucking soul!"

"Kanda, stop yelling at me," Allen said, brows knitting together as the male seized him by the shoulders roughly.

"Why?" Kanda asked. "Why did you do it?" each question as accentuated by a sharp jerk.

"I wanted to help," Allen said heart rate increasing at the proximity with the samurai.

"Bullshit," Kanda hissed, "why did you sell your soul to bring me back?"

"Damn it I couldn't stand it here without you okay," Allen broke, mentally scolding himself for the words that may as well been a confession, "I was out of my mind since you died and all I could think about was how I let you die!"

"It wasn't your fault idiot!" Kanda said, not understanding the desperation in the smaller boy's voice.

"When I found out there was a way to bring you back, a real way, no akuma stings attached, I took it," Allen said swallowing the bile that was rising in his throat from his insecurities.

"No person in their right mind would go through all that trouble just 'cause they felt guilty," Kanda said

"Well clearly I'm not in my right mind!" Allen retorted.

"You are a fucking idiot," Kanda muttered as his voice lowered, giving up on trying to find a logical reason behind Allen's actions, when clearly nothing of the sort would be found.

"I know I am," Allen said smiling softly, "but I'm glad you're back."

"Che, baka Moyashi," Kanda released Allen, stalking off the roof and leaving the boy in favor of brooding over everything that had happened since that mission where he _died_.

He remembered everything vividly, as if it had happened only seconds ago, the glassy look in Allen's eyes as he fought his way out of Rhode's dream world, and the level four about to skewer him. He remembered pain and blood and the blackness behind his vision as an inhuman cry of anguish reached his ears, drowned out by the blood pumping in his ears. Had that been Allen? Was the boy crying for him with such violent desperation? It wouldn't be a surprise, the boy cried for everyone, akuma and Noah included, of course he'd cry over a fallen comrade.

He'd never tried to bring any of _them_ back though, so why had _he_ been any different. It wasn't like they were on particularly good terms, if anything he was the least hospitable person in the Order and should have been the last on his list of people he'd give anything to save. Then again Allen was a complete and utter fool; chances were that his brain and heart were reversed in terms of size and function. The martyring brat was always driven by his instincts and rarely stopped to think of the consequences or his own wellbeing in such things.

Kanda had been shocked out of his mind when he'd returned to his room to see the withered lotus in the glass upon the table. He was still alive, courtesy of Allen, but what were his life's restrictions now? If the flower was a judge of his life then he _was_ dead. What would become of him now? Surely the Order would find it strange that their synthetic exorcist was still up and kicking after his expiration date.

xXx

"Well yeah, Allen was shit out of his mind when you died," Lavi said as he leaned against a pillar in one of the training halls as he watched Kanda from the safe distance. He'd initially come in to do a prelim to see if he'd need to do damage control with Allen for having squealed on him, and soon found Kanda actively participating in the conversation, the death threats and hostility kept to a minimum. It was a conversation which could be classified as civil.

"But why? It wasn't his fault, didn't you tell him that?" Kanda asked, legs still crossed in a meditative position, though he was leaning back against a wall and his eyes were open, "couldn't you have stopped him?"

"You really don't get it do you?" Lavi sighed, he was sure after what Kanda had told him happened on the roof that the navy haired male would have gotten the picture by now and since Allen had made it clear he wasn't going to confess, Lavi would have to play intermediary to convey the message in the boy's stead. "Allen's in love with you."

Kanda was rendered speechless as he stared in disbelief at the emerald eyes redhead.

"Don't give me that look; it's damn clear to everyone else so why can't you see it?" Lavi said crossing his arms.

"But he-"

"He didn't eat for the first few days and we were sure his innocence would somehow start to eat him from the inside out until Lenalee told him about a mission. He must've really wanted to get away from this place because he was out and down in the office as if he hadn't been killing himself in his room for almost a week," Lavi said, "it was another weird mission, rumors circulating about a town that apparently had people just coming back to life on a regular basis."

"And Allen-"

"Yep, he said he'd go and you know, being all general status and all we couldn't exactly tell him he couldn't go even though I would have told Komui not to tell him about it had I been informed earlier," Lavi said with a shrug, "he knocked me out and left me on the train. By the time I came to I was several towns away and Komui said to just come back to headquarters. When Allen got back I had got in a couple hours prior and when I was trying to get some answers out of him we heard a scream coming from the infirmary."

"That's when you found me?"

"Yeah, Allen disappeared after doing that whole cover lie thing 'cause he didn't want you to know," Lavi said, "but you already know that part."

"Is there anyway to reverse the deal he made?" Kanda asked.

"We don't even know how this is possible," Lavi said, "there's nothing in the records about physical superior entities bringing people back to life."

"He's a damn fool," Kanda sighed.

"Kanda, I know you don't like it, heck I'm really pissed off that Allen traded away his life, _even_ if it was to bring back one of my best buddies," Lavi said, "but Allen was seriously not in the right frame of mind, from the recording of the mission you'd see for yourself, after you died he went berserk on the Noah and would have killed them both had they not turned tail and ran for the hills."

"That's no excuse," Kanda frowned, not able to picture Allen losing all control like that.

"Maybe you should talk to him, I'm sure he has a lot on his mind right now," Lavi said "perhaps you can help resolve some of it."

"What the heck would I say? I already yelled at him for doing this and now you tell me he's in love with me and that's why he was so desperate," Kanda growled. "You know about the damn lotus, the thing is dead and yet here I am, still stuck with you . I don't know fuck enough to say anything consoling to the idiot who sold his soul to bring back something that was barely human in the first place."

"Tell him about it, about the lotus and the second exorcists," Lavi said, having not expected Kanda to sound so sincere in his confusion and concern.

"Che, as if I could do that, he'd just start crying again," Kanda muttered as he stood to leave.

"One more thing Kanda," Lavi called. The navy haired male paused hand on the door.

"How do you feel about Allen?" Lavi asked.

"I don't feel anything for the brat," Kanda said stiffly.

"Even though you let your guard down in that last battle to warn him," Lavi asked, "I saw the footage from Timcanpy."

"Brat's a general, his life is weighted more than mine," Kanda said smoothly as if he'd practiced the excuse a thousand times.

"But you don't care about the order," Lavi said a small smile tugging at his lips when the Navy haired male fell into silence. The extended moment of quiet ended with Kanda leaving the training hall.

'Love…he loves me…' Kanda thought as he made his way through the halls back to his room, thoughts of what Allen had said on the roof resurfacing in his mind.

"_Damn it I couldn't stand it here without you okay. I was out of my mind since you died…"_

Cursing his own stupidity Kanda mentally slapped himself, the boy might as well have said he loved him for how blunt the words were and how strong the emotions were in his stardust eyes and on his infantile face. That same face that always bore an idiotic smile and the hypocritical façade he despised.

He didn't blame Allen for having problems that he didn't want anyone to know about, hell everyone had them, but that painfully false joy always spurred anger within him. There was a Noah living in the young exorcist, a dark creature that was eating him up inside and still he found the time to worry about everybody else. Now that Kanda thought about it, Allen had just about given up on living, he'd been so morbidly cynical about dying. In the heat of the moment he'd only heard excuses, he never stopped to think that there was any real bearing behind it.

'Love,' Kanda thought as a frown marred his face. Pushing open his door and tracing the withered flower with his cobalt gaze. The very concept was ridiculous enough to make him want to hit Lavi for bringing it to his attention. It was a stupid emotional state and it was definitely not what he felt for the younger boy.

He knew he cared about Allen, knew that he had been trying to protect him even as he was loosing his grip on reality. He had worried himself half to hell when Allen had been suspected of treason and gained himself his very own watchdog. During that period Kanda had found himself meditating almost every free second he had. He'd been horrified when Allen had stabbed himself with the sword of exorcism on that mission, and he'd wanted to beat the shit out of the third exorcists when the bastard bashed Allen into a wall so hard that he gained some new wounds and tore a couple of old ones.

He was definitely harboring feelings for Allen, but whatever they were, he knew they couldn't be something as ridiculously cliché as love.

xXx

"Let's try this again," Kanda growled as he drew Mugen on the blueberry haired scientist, "I need to be sent on a mission wherever the hell Allen went and I need to go now."

"Kanda, what do you hope to accomplish by going there?" Komui asked as he leaned back from the sword's tip.

"I'm going to try to undo what he's done," Kanda said, "you know my circumstance and you know his and I'm sure you don't want him dying."

"I don't want you to die either," Komui said earning a grunt from the young samurai.

"I'm not _real_," Kanda hissed, "and you know shit well that _he_ doesn't deserve to have a fucking clock ticking down his remaining time."

"Kanda, he may not be able to function without you," Komui said with a sigh, "you didn't see him-"

"I _won't_ be responsible for his death!" Kanda snapped.

"Alright, head down to the docks, Toma will escort you," Komui said as the navy haired male gave a curt nod and turned to the door, navy hair swishing gracefully in the movement.

xXx

Once at the town, Kanda found it almost too easy to get information. The people were all too happy to speak about everything. His questioning brought him to a woman tending a garden while her child rolled about in the crib on the porch.

"Excuse me miss, I was told that you were the last person a white haired boy talked to in this village and was wondering if you could tell me where you sent him," Kanda said.

"Oh dear, is he alright?" she asked.

"For now," Kanda replied, "he did something rather foolish and now it's of the utmost importance that I find out where he made that deal."

"Are you him?" she asked sweetly taking note of the way Kanda stiffened, "he must be so happy."

"Please just tell me where to go," Kanda said gritting his teeth in attempts to keep from wringing the answer out of the woman.

"There's a junction between the cemetery, this town, the forest and the church," the woman said, "that's where you need to go."

"Thank you," Kanda said running off in the direction he remembered had led towards the cemetery.

Night fell slowly and Kanda had been waiting for hours at the crossroads, kicking dirt, cursing and meditating to pass the time. He wondered what exactly he'd meet, what kind of entity had dared make a deal with the cursed boy.

The moon hanging high in the sky and the brightly twinkling stars were the only illumination Kanda received on the otherwise dark road.

"Are you not satisfied with your new life?" a saccharine voice caught Kanda's attention as he turned to find himself staring into infinitely dark ebony pools.

"You are the one who did this?" Kanda asked to which she nodded, "reverse the deal now!"

"Well that's no way to ask for a favor," she frowned, "that Allen was the perfect gentleman even as he we discussed the deal."

"Don't you talk about him," Kanda hissed, "now, reverse the fucking deal."

"So difficult, it's a wonder what he sees in you," she muttered casually, "I can't help you."

"Let's try this again, if you won't do it, tell me how I can," Kanda growled.

"Sorry, all deals are final," she said, "you could say they're iron clad."

"Then make a deal with me," Kanda said.

"I'm going to give you a bit of advice," she said, "spend the last year with your honey. A boy like that doesn't deserve to die alone."

"Take my life back," Kanda said, voice edging on desperation, "I refuse to let him die for me."

"You have to understand that reversing the deal doesn't benefit me in anyway and frankly his soul is far more interesting than yours," she said with a shrug.

"What do you mean?" Kanda asked, brows furrowing.

"It's so dark and twisted and yet holds only the purest of intentions," she said almost lustily as if the thought alone was enough to make her heart race – provided she even had one. "There is absolutely nothing you can say or do to convince me to make a deal with you to circumvent his."

"_You_ don't understand," Kanda hissed, the feeling he'd assured himself wasn't love provoking the following words from his mouth, "I _can't_ lose him."

"You have a year," she said firmly, "protect him during the time he has left. Love him and hold him. Free him from all regrets if you want to do him a favor. Hell is no place to foster regrets. There is no salvation to be found there."

"I can't…I won't accept that there's nothing I can do for him," Kanda said somewhat deflated seeing that the being in front of him wasn't going to budge.

"Love is a strange thing," she said, not missing the look to flash through the male's eyes at the word signifying an unrestrained kind of loyalty and devotion. "Beseech your god for his help, perhaps he may save the little lamb."

With that said, she disappeared leaving Kanda shaking with anger at the crossroads. Hands balled into trembling fists at his sides he began heading back into town, head bowed in defeat.

"I don't believe in God."

xXx

The first thing Kanda did when he returned to the Order was seek Allen out. There he was, sitting in one of the large open windows, silver eyes upturned to the sky, a blank expression in the normally emotive gem-like pools. The sunlight shone golden rays upon him, bathing him in a healthy glow, and in that moment he'd never looked more beautiful.

"Kanda, what is it?" Allen asked turning to face the older male as he came up behind him.

"A year huh?" Kanda's voice was abnormally soft and his eyes held none of the normal coldness Allen was used to seeing. Allen said nothing, as he waited for an explanation, "that's not enough time – not nearly enough time."

"Kanda?" Allen asked as he slid from the window ledge to stand in front of the older male, "what's gotten into yo-" Kanda closed the distance between them in a quick stride and drew Allen into an embrace.

"Shut up," Kanda mumbled, "I don't know what it is or why I feel this way, but I will find a way to save you. In the mean time don't leave my side."

_It was unequivocally a messed up situation, but then again, most life altering things are._

_End_

* * *

A/N: And another one comes to a close, and it's a bout damn time too. This one has been brooding in the millions of bits of code on my USB for months. I kind of liked how it turned out, though anyone who read it is probably wondering where the rest of it is. Well sorry to disappoint, but this is the end. I'm a sucker for these kinds of open endings.

Now before I get stoned, I'm willing to attempt an epilogue if it interests anyone, though I can't say as to when it'll be up, or when I'll even have time to sit down and write after this weekend. So let me know if I should put it on my _To Do List_.

Anyway thanks to everyone who's read and reviewed my works.

Comments are welcomed – they make me happy :)


	2. Epilogue

**Epilogue**

A year, a single year was all the time he'd been granted. True to his word, Kanda kept Allen at his side as much as possible. Over the first month he'd been accompanying Allen on all his missions and having the boy train with him, even sitting to eat with him. Allen hadn't known what came over the older male but he didn't mind the extra attention. He couldn't get past his love for the samurai, so whether or not he understood what Kanda's reasons were for his actions, he savored the moments those cobalt eyes would lock with his, heart overflowing from the compassion he felt emanating off the older male.

Nearing the beginning of the second month of Allen's last year, with no luck on the research front, Kanda took the woman's words to heart and sought out a place within the Order he'd never before given a second glance.

It wasn't abnormal for war institutions to have a chapel within it for prayer and the Black Order was no exception. Kanda had long since known that this place existed but had never had a reason to bother with it. Kanda wasn't a God fearing, religiously devout kind of man, hell he didn't even believe in God. Though Tiedoll had often blabbered on about praying for aid in times of need and the like, he had not once believed that a humbled person asking aid of some sort of fantastical idea would make a difference in the outcome of someone's life. It was stupid and impractical, but ever since that damnably infuriating female _god_ had told him to beseech God for his help, he'd taken up prayer – in a manner of speaking.

Thus he found himself in the chapel within the Black Order. It was small, fronted by a worn oak altar, with a velvet cloth hanging over its surface, a glass bowl half filled with water and three white candles standing atop it. A simple rustic cross hung from the wall behind the altar. Besides that the room was empty, no pews for collective worship or books of praise. The scowl on his face darkened and his eyes hardened as he stared at the altar. Screwing up his resolve he fell to his knees, bending forward from his waist, palms placed on the floor, fingers angled towards each other.

"I don't know if you're there, hell I don't even know if you give a damn, but he doesn't deserve to die like this," Kanda said, "he's been fighting for you all his life, so I think you owe it to him to save his soul from damnation."

"Yuu what are you doing?" Lavi asked, stepping into the chapel. Having been looking for the navy haired male it wasn't too difficult to find out which direction he'd gone from the finders he'd scared in his passing.

"Shut up what's it look like I'm doing?" Kanda snapped, shooting up straight, the anger and embarrassment flushing his cheeks.

"I don't know what it _is_, but I'm damn sure that it can't be what it looks like," Lavi said in awe, "I think something's wrong with my eye, 'cause I could almost swear I walked in on you praying."

"Shut up," Kanda muttered as he stood up making to remove himself from the redhead's company.

"Allen was looking for you," Lavi said causing Kanda to stiffen as he stopped with his hand on the door. The silence was deafening as Kanda felt the strange conflictions within him burning furiously.

"Where is he?" Kanda asked.

"You know I've read through just about every book and document in the Vatican's records. I've learned things that would make the public at large gasp and storm the place with torches and pitchforks or something. Hell I found things that have been banned from the church for centuries," Lavi said, "but the only accounts of such deals are found in lore and myth, devil deals and the like. No real physical entities have ever been documented and even in the lore there's nothing to say that such deals can be broken."

"If you're telling me to stop trying I'm going to have to kill you," Kanda said, voice laden in ice.

"Easy Yuu, I was just stating the facts," Lavi said hands held up defensively, "I don't know if this praying is going to help any but if you feel like you're getting somewhere then by all means continue."

"She told me to," Kanda said, the hand at his side balling into a fist.

"What?" Lavi asked, crimson brow quirking at the response.

"The _god_ that Allen made the deal with," Kanda gritted out between clenched teeth, "when I went to see her she told me to ask God to save him."

"Yuu-"

"Don't call me that," Kanda hissed, hand relaxing as he pushed the door open, heading off in search of the snowy haired exorcist.

xXx

Days bled into weeks and weeks into months, and still Kanda hadn't succeeded in doing much more than realizing to just what extent he was obsessed with Allen. His heart ached every time he was drawn into the gorgeous stardust eyes, where he saw nothing of the boy's fear or his uncertainty and it unnerved him ever the more.

A sweep of a hand across the table was followed by a loud crash; the long standing lotus landing on the ground and the glass jar shattering violently against the stone. A knock at the door soon followed almost urgently in its repetition before the door creaked open, the barest sliver of light from the hall painting a glowing light in the otherwise darkened room.

"Kanda, can I come in?" Allen asked, finding himself to be staring at the unbound navy locks spilling over the samurai's back – a beautiful cascading waterfall of midnight tresses. The man didn't reply, and Allen took it as an okay, stepping in and closing the door behind him. He'd not expected the loud crash from the room when he'd come to speak with Kanda, but his worries were allayed as he took in the fact that the male seemed fine and though glass fragments littered the floor, there was no blood in the air.

Allen slowly approached the male only to stop when he caught sight of a drop of shimmering crystal falling to the ground.

"Kanda are you crying?" Allen asked in shock, receiving only silence in response. Allen took another couple of steps to close the distance between them and rested a hand on the older male's shoulder, urging him to turn. Thin streaks of salty grief trailed over Kanda's proud face, eyes hard and brows furrowed at his weakness.

"It's been six months damn it and I'm no closer to finding a way to stop this," Kanda hissed angrily as he averted his gaze from the smaller boy.

"Kanda, please look at me," Allen said reaching up to cup the man's face as he thumbed away a couple of tears.

"You're a fucking idiot," Kanda growled, hand clasping over Allen's and ceasing his movement.

"Yeah I know, you've told me that already," Allen said smiling.

"And you're being so reckless in battle," Kanda snapped hating that the boy was so calm about it all, "just last month you were under bed arrest in the infirmary for a week."

"Well I did win though, one less Noah to worry about," Allen said with a slight shrug.

"Fucking hell, are you even listening to yourself?" Kanda asked, hands gripping Allen by the shoulders.

"Kanda, I'm not afraid to die," Allen said. He didn't know how many times he'd already told the male over the past few months that he wasn't afraid and that everything was alright, but it never seemed to sink in to the stubborn samurai's mind.

"Why?" the question had been so broken, so very unlike Kanda and for a moment Allen's heart ached, wanting to stay with him even after the year was over. The thought was quickly brushed aside, because it was impossible – he'd made a deal and that was that, yearning would do nothing but cause him unnecessary pain.

"Because I'm tired, it seems like I've been fighting forever and even if I do nothing else, I got to save the one person I love most in this world," Allen said his smile broadening, "how many people can say that at the end of the day?"

"Baka Moyashi," Kanda murmured as he pulled Allen forward, arms sliding around the small frame, chin resting atop the boy's head as he reveled in the soft silken hair and the sinfully addictive sweet milky scent cling to the boy's skin.

He wasn't bound to give up, he'd keep trying, keep searching, perhaps he'd missed something. He had six months left, half a year, and he'd damn well find _something _that could help.

xXx

"Why the fuck aren't you answering me damn it?" Kanda growled, just about ready to destroy the damn altar in his rage. "He's going to die! And as much as I hate it, I can't save him alone!"

He wasn't all too surprised when he heard no response, or felt no enlightenment on the matter and his patience was long past its zenith. Drawing Mugen from its sheath he pointed it towards the cross threateningly.

"I swear that I'll desecrate this damn place with your own fucking innocence if you don't-"

Cobalt eyes traced the blade of his shirasaya as he was hit with an epiphany. Sheathing Mugen he gave a quick bow to the altar before rushing off to Komui's office.

"I need to go back," Kanda said barging into the room and startling Komui awake – the man falling from atop his pile of unfinished work.

"Excuse me?" Komui asked standing while dusting himself off.

"To that town, now, I need to go now," Kanda said urgently as he slammed his hands on the desk in front of the estranged scientist.

"You already tried going back there, what-"

"Don't ask questions that you know I won't answer," Kanda hissed, "you are wasting my time."

"Fine, go on your self-proclaimed mission," Komui sighed as he gestured to the door. He really didn't want to see Mugen's tip today, he liked life far too much to test his luck with the tightly strung samurai.

Briskly walking to the door Kanda paused and shot Komui a sharp glare.

"Don't tell him."

With just three months left, Kanda finally had a feasible plan.

xXx

"Listen lady I'm done fucking with you," Kanda hissed as the _god_ appeared, looking less than happy to see him.

"What is it now?" she asked, the pools of tar following the angry Japanese male as he whipped around to face her, navy hair swishing violently with the movement.

"I have a proposition for you, that I think you'll find worth while," Kanda said, the malice clearly showing in his voice.

"I already told you that nothing you can do will make me take your life in exchange for his," she said in a bored tone.

"That's not the proposition," Kanda said.

"Fine, I'm listening," she said watching curiously as a smirk breeched the samurai's face.

"You fight me and if I win you let him go," Kanda said, "if you win you get us both." A moment passed before a smile wrought with destruction lit her features.

"You do realize there is no way you can beat a god," she said and Kanda could almost see the excitement shimmer across her black eyes.

"Che, you're no god," Kanda scoffed.

"I accept your proposition," she said. The smirk on Kanda's face widened, he'd gotten her to agree; now all that was left was to win.

"I'll be back here in two days," Kanda said.

"Why wait?" the question was sultry as she sauntered closer to him.

"That's none of your business," Kanda snapped.

"Alright hun," she said snaking her hands over the samurai taking in the beautiful anger radiating off his rigid form.

"What are you doing woman?" Kanda growled.

"Sealing the deal," she whispered, pressing her lips to his. Once he'd managed to regain coherency of his thoughts he furiously shoved her off. Retreating a couple feet, licking her lips, she smiled.

"Your boy didn't seem to mind too much," she taunted. A violent streak of anger flashed through Kanda when the words sank in; she had kissed Allen to seal the deal to bring him back. Eyes darkening he entertained the idea of beating the shit out of her just to sate his anger.

"Fucking hell woman I swear-"

"I'll see you in two days, make them worth it," she whispered saucily before vanishing into the foggy night.

xXx

Kanda's absence had been hard on Allen, he'd gotten so used to the male's extra attention, that when he hadn't been told that Kanda was going on a mission he felt a strange hollowness brewing inside his chest.

Upon his return to headquarters Kanda went straight to Allen's room, finding him sitting on the floor just underneath the window, looking rather depressed.

"Are you alright?" Kanda asked as he approached the boy, Allen's head shot up at his voice.

"Kanda, where were you?" Allen asked as he pushed himself up from the floor.

"I had something to take care off," Kanda said with a slight shrug as he walked towards Allen.

"Kanda?" Allen looked at the male questioningly as he approached, calloused hands sliding over his shoulders and linking behind his back as he found himself standing flush against the older male.

"Allen," Kanda mumbled against the boy's ear, admiring the beautiful flush of red that spilled across the boy's face at the use of his name, "do you love me?" He was still skeptical about the use of that word but he didn't care right now, he needed to know.

"What're you-"

"Answer the damn question," Kanda grumbled, arms tightening around the slender boy in his arms.

"Yes, I do," Allen said, distinguished white brows knitting together in his confusion, "Kanda what's this all about?"

"Yuu," Kanda murmured against Allen's ear, lips brushing against the pale flesh, "call me Yuu."

"Yuu," Allen said, eyes widening as the lips that had been next to his ear a second ago were now pressing against his. The need and desire was so strong Allen felt like the world was falling away around him as he melted into the embrace, arms looping around the back of Kanda's neck as he slanted his head, deepening the kiss.

"I have a mission tomorrow," Kanda said as he broke away, both panting lightly, hearts racing, "it'll only be for a day, but please take care of yourself while I'm gone." He knew very well that he may not come back but he couldn't tell Allen.

"Yuu?" Allen's eyes glazed as the male buried his face in the boy's neck, breathing in the sweet milky scent, tongue slipping out to flick against the sensitive flesh. And sure enough, Allen tasted as sweet as the heady scent that hung off him.

Leading Allen over to the bed Kanda sat down, pulling the snowy haired boy down with him. Allen pulled back a bit to look in the deep cobalt eyes, searching for answers.

"Just let me hold you tonight," Kanda said as he pressed a feather soft kiss to the boy's lips. A sweet smile stretched across Allen's face as he nodded. To spend a night in the arms of the one he'd give everything for was pure bliss. If he had been thinking properly, though, he would have wondered as to why the sudden affection had increased tenfold.

When morning came Kanda would leave Allen for the last time. He hoped that the boy wouldn't hate him for it, but if things worked out, then the deal would be broken and things would be as they were.

'Don't cry for me anymore,' Kanda thought as he held the boy close, reveling in the small body that fit against his so perfectly.

xXx

Standing once again at the crossroads, Mugen at his side and the sky and endless expanse of moon bathed indigo. It was quite the setting for what may very well be his last. The only thing missing was the _god _and her demonically black eyes.

"Did you say your goodbyes?" She asked, appearing once again from seemingly nowhere. Kanda spun to face her, meeting the smug look on her face with a prideful one of his own, betraying none of his uneasiness.

"Did you?" Kanda scoffed.

"Cheeky bastard," she smirked as she sauntered closer. Body coiled tight, ready to strike at any time.

"Che," Kanda drew Mugen and took a stance.

"Swords huh," she mused. "Okay samurai boy, let's dance." A katana of what appeared to be her energy materialized in her hand as she took her own stance. After a moment of eyeing each other down the battle commenced in a flurry of clashing swords.

xXx

For hours the two kept up their dangerous dance until Kanda caught her in the gut, a fowl gleam in her eyes having not expected the weapon to hurt like it did. The wound burning painfully as her sword fell from her hand, dissolving into nothing before it hit the ground. Eyes narrowing, she clutched an arm around her bleeding stomach.

"What did you do to me?" she asked her blood boiling painfully, stretching from the wound outward through her veins. Panting heavily and his blood trailing from wounds on his body Kanda smirked.

"You got me thinking when you said to ask God for help. And for the past nine months I've been wondering why the hell he wasn't answering," Kanda said, "but then I realized that he didn't need to, cause I already had his weapon."

True to his statement the innocence was referred to as God's crystal. The solution had been in front of him the whole time. As a member of the Black Order he was surrounded by the holy weapons. Exorcists were warriors for God, wielding his weapons to make safe the world he created. It took nine months of silence for him to realize that he'd been granted the answer long before he'd ever asked the question.

"I win," Kanda said, "a deal is a deal, he goes free."

"Tell me something lover boy," she said watching him curiously, "when you willingly made this deal you planned to die either way. If you lost, I would get both of you, and if you won you asked only that Allen be freed from his deal, so right now I can take you back in his stead. Why?"

"I knew you wouldn't play all or nothing stakes no matter how confident you were, and once you said no there would be no negotiating," Kanda said breathing heavily as he sheathed Mugen, "that was a chance I couldn't take."

The despair ridden demonic eyes observed the male for a moment longer before turning her head.

"Go."

"What?" Kanda asked, brows furrowing at the word to leave her lips.

"Go," she said again, "I give you leave to be with your lover."

"Just like that?" Kanda asked incredulously.

"Go before I change my mind you stupid boy," she commanded firmly, fading past the realm of sight, leaving the shocked navy haired male alone at the centre of the crossroads.

xXx

Returning to the Order, Kanda was in a state of confusion as he wondered how it was that she had broken the deal, not that he wasn't thankful. But it didn't make sense. Following the familiar path to Allen's room he finds the boy looking rather flustered, hands fidgeting in his lap as he sat at the edge of the bed.

"What's wrong?" Kanda asked as he approached the younger boy only for the bloodshot silver eyes to meet his as Allen whipped his head up. Standing abruptly Allen's eyes narrowed as his brows knitted together fist flying into Kanda's jaw without reserve. Head snapping to the side in pain, the navy haired male rubbed his jaw, turning a confused and angry look to the young boy.

"What the fuck was that for?" Kanda asked as he took in the furious eyes of the boy he'd just risked his soul for.

"How could you not tell me?" Allen demanded.

"What?"

"Lavi told me that you've been going to see that _god_ trying to make deals with her!" Allen snapped. "He told me that you went there to fight her. You knew full well that you may not come back and that's why you were so…you knew that you may not come back and you didn't say a word to me about it!"

"Baka Usagi," Kanda grumbled. The damn redhead was too observant for his own good. Even if he had found out about his plan, why the hell had he gone and told Allen about it? "I'm going to kill him."

"Kanda!" Allen snapped irately. The navy haired male braced himself, expecting another punch but instead found himself tumbling to the ground, the smaller boy clinging desperately to him. "Yuu," Allen whimpered as he buried his face in the crook of the male's neck.

"Allen?"

"I didn't think you were coming back." Kanda froze, as he felt tears splash against his neck. Allen was crying. "You stupid, arrogant, bastard."

"I'm sorry," Kanda sighed as he wrapped his arms around the boy's waist.

The floor was cold and hard beneath him, he was exhausted from the battle with the _god,_ and he was sustaining several gashes in his skin. Even so the pleasant weight of the smaller boy atop him and the affectionate warmth bleeding into him made the moment perfect.

Everything was okay now. They could spend the rest of their unrestricted lives together. And one day Kanda would eventually work up the resolve to find the words to express how he felt about the younger boy. For now, though, he could settle for holding him.

_Life doesn't always work out the way you plan, but you'll never know how it'll end up if you stop trying._

_End_

* * *

A/N: So the epilogue kind of turned into a second chapter kind of thing. I hope it was satisfying enough.

I can't say as to when I'll be posting anything else up, I had orientation at my university the other day and it was a literal nightmare, tons of people and a complete waste of time. And they expect me to go to frosh week, what a joke. The only thing I'll be doing before my classes start is picking up my textbooks and going on a scavenger hunt for my classes. They can shove their stupid toga party and semi-formal boat cruise up their ineffably irritating asses!

So yeah, just a little bit irritated over here but it's all good. Though, I'll be better once all this, prelude to freshman year, nonsense is over.

Anyway thanks to everyone who's read and reviewed my works.

Comments are welcomed – they make me happy :)


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